It has been a while since last time I blogged. Not being able typing in Chinese becomes one major excuse for not updating.
Tonight, I feel the urge of writing down one of the ordinary day (long day:P) with my little boy, no matter what language I use.
Alvin's 21 month old now. Before officially becoming a terrible two, he's been driven his Daddy and I nuts A LOT lately.
It has been over two months since he went to school. (I prefer to put in this way other than being sent to daycare, for my comforting purpose.)
Ever since going to school, Alvin's been constantly sick all the time. Not the 'sick' sick, more like the boogie boy sick. (sneezing and running nose) Some nights his nose was so congested that it kept waking him up. He woke up madly and cried hysterically like he had a bad dream. Not being able to express in our language, he took out his frustration and anger on either his Daddy or me, poor mommy. Most of the time, I am the one he released his rage at.
Some nights I heard him from the monitor, I woke up unpleasantly, thinking and murmuring 'Alvin Fang....not again....' I was defeated by myself at the first place when I sighed. The following day continues with non-stop complaining and negative thoughts. I feel that I've used all my patience when Alvin starts to whine about things or cry for help. I can't stand his whining, crying, not following my instruction(s), not eating well and many more.
In an ordinary day with my dear baby boy, it became a battle.
It was a school day yesterday. At night, Alvin woke up at 10, 11, 2.....and the last time I checked, it was 3:40 AM. Daddy was staying up for his exam so he took the last shift.
I woke up at 4:30 and saw Big White's resting next to me, slightly snored. He does that when he is extremely tired. I know he must be exhaused these days. Trying to find time to study after work, still has to fulfill his daddy duties (to both Alvin and Bucca) sometimes. Life is so tough.
Today was my full-time mommy day. Our schedule today is going playdate at Mary and Shine's place. Alvin was alright after he woke up in the morning. I tried not to push him doing his daily routine after morning bottle. He saw his new Lego box laying on the carpet and started to play.
He used his language to tell me he is happy with his "dudu" (toy car)
After putting him in front of TV, letting Mr. Tiger, our best friend from the show, babysit him for half hour when mommy got her morning coffee and freshened up,
11:30, I thought it was time to take off for the playdate. I packed all the stuff I needed, got the packages (I need to keep a small business going FYI) loaded in the trunk. I started to "load" my son, impatiently.
We dropped the packages at UPS first. He wasn't too happy when I left him in the car. The parking lot was packed. I was a lil' nervous because I parked at handicapped spot for convenience. I thought disappeaing for 30 seconds (It's really just 30 seconds from the gate to where I drop things) won't be so inconvenient for the security guy's been issuing tickets or people really need that spot.
When I left, I spotted a guy wearing like uniforms staring at me. I was like, please, not any tickets!
My heart rate raised and I was in a rush mood. I don't know what I was rush and anxious about. It was a playdate and it was with close friend. I kept thinking why I was acting like this whenever I have to bring Alvin out. I lost my coolness (if I ever have any).
At Mary's, we kept talking and talking among kids' screaming and non-stop whining requests. Alvin had a lot of fun chewing playdot and bouncing up and down on Li. Family's couch.
The crazy bouncing activity ended when Alvin fell off the couch and bumped his forehead. I didn't realized he had a big bump before Mary posting this picture. I thought he just hurt his lips a little bit with mild bleeding.
He climbed onto me like a little koala and I know it's time to call it a day.
It was around 35-40 degree outside. A little chilly, not too windy.
On our way to the car, Alvin found some fallen leaves piling up aside sideway.
He picked up a leaf like he's never seen such a beautiful leaf before.
He was fasinated. He admired and appreciated.
This is how kids are, I told myself. They are pure and natural. They show their true emotions directly and honestly.
When I am writing down this, I pray to God for keep me walking and living with more patience. Lift me when I need renewed strength and bless my family and friends.
Sometimes we are just too busy with our goals in life that we forgot how important it is to live through a kid's heart and eyes as a parent. Mary reminded me to listen more carefully to what kids are trying to communicate. Trying to understand what your kid's trying to tell you is mommy's duty, and a divine duty.
We got dinner from Chinatown and went home. Alvin fell asleep right away so I was able to manage calling for pick-up and asked restaurant to deliver to the parking lot.
For the first time, he fell asleep on the floor. He was kneeling on a soft mat in front of his toy kitchen for 1.5 hours.
I smiled and smiled looking at his face in deep sleep. As a parent, if there are some moments in life you want to imprint to your head that you'll never ever forget, when you turn old and your kids are away, you want to withdraw the memory again and again, this is one of them.
He woked up not in a happy mood. I chose to listen to what he wanted instead of what I wanted. We went downstairs cuddling together watching tiger show. he had a late dinner with fried rice.
I saw him feeding himself with spoon and hands, realizing he just needs to eat our food. Mommy doesn't have to think of crazy menu everyday (I made syrup pumpkin balls yesterday)to get his appetite. Just serve whatever we are eating, and let him eat like a horse.
I took a hot bath for him and send him to bed with his ne-ne (milk)
I sang our good night songs to him and picked up his tiger doll.
He said, "ah-hu, ah-hu"
I finally realized what "ah-hu" means. It's tiger from the show. it's so simple and it took me so long to understand.
I felt a little shamed and I sang, "did you mean? Chiao-Hu Chiao-Hu my best friend?" (theme song)
He smiled and he finished the song with "ah-hu" humming.
Sometimes it's so simple but we are so blinded by other things in life. I am sorry, my cutest terrible two.
I'll keep up my promise becoming a more patient mom. Try to listen and see the world from your eyes and heart, well......ones in a while.